Taking Stock

I visited the accident scene yesterday afternoon. I often react too strongly in the very short term. So I’m going to sit on my thoughts for a few days.

What a week.

I want you to know that your thoughts, cards, letters, emails, meals, flowers, errand assistance, childcare, socially-distant visits… all have helped. Much more than I would have expected.

So thank you.


Something I’ve been watching in myself. Watching and feeling.

When I’m under a lot of stress, there is always a background desire to blame someone, or something, for the situation.

This can be really unproductive.

My earlier question, “Is this my decision?” helps.

Also helpful, pause and consider, “What best serves the survivors?”

Finally, keeping myself on schedule, and occupied, helps. I raked leaves this morning and felt better, quickly.


Over the next month, the shock will clear and we will move back to normal living, our new normal being without Andy.

I know that many of you would like to help.

Here’s what I recommend, put a date in your calendar 30-45 days from now and reach out to someone in your own family, ideally living alone, who has lost someone close to them in the last year.

Reach out to them in their favorite manner: visit, call, text, email… and simply ask, “how’s it going?”

Let them know you’re looking forward to seeing them and set a date to get together.

When you get together, listen then say what needs to be said.

Thank you again for all of your support.