No Fate

Posted on by
Our family party planner is gearing up for the 4th of July

Came across this in my feed via PaulG.

Lots to unpack.

Here’s a partial list of countries where I’ve spent more than ten weeks of my life: Canada (Happy Canada Day, BTW), England, USA, Scotland, France, Hong Kong, India, New Zealand, Australia and Bermuda.

The tweet above touches on something I’ve noticed about rich countries – we can get away with a lot of stupid stuff.

Inverting that observation, if you live in Taiwan, Hong Kong or New Zealand then you KNOW you can’t afford to screw up. The “Feds” in these places don’t have the capacity to bail you out. Only a very rich government gives you a tax cut and starts a war of choice.

This knowledge has a profound influence on their cultural outlook, work ethic, community bonds and social cohesion.

In the US, we are seeing the result of a widespread view that competence doesn’t matter. Left and right, we see populism ascendant.

We will pay a price if we rip down what remains.

It’s a big year for peas at Byrn Family Farms. Be careful with the seeds you choose to water.

Next idea for you.

Yes, the next year is going to be awful – people are going to die (many needlessly), businesses will go bust, friends and family will face ruin.

Awful is always there. Terror is always there. You will never not find them.

Whatever emotional pattern you choose to repeat across this crisis is going to be with you for a long time. The stress of your current life situation is going to burn some deep habits.

An attitude that the future is already lost will not serve us well. Mainly because it will distract each of us from the work we need to do. The work required to rebuild the damage which continues to be done to our communities.

What to do?

Well, pay attention when you find yourself drifting into a pity party.

Acknowledge it.

Then set a time limit on it.

An hour each morning, is about the max you should allow yourself.

But consider => if you start each day with a large coffee and a workout then you might be able to avoid it altogether.

Here’s a good read about facing difficulties with grace => Tuesdays With Morrie

Each week I get a choice. I can focus on the 150 hours I spend in my house, or the 18 hours I spend out of the box with my son.

Sometimes I can’t manage a one hour cap on my dissatisfaction and I’m still really upset (at what I don’t really know!) when I go to bed.

On those evenings, I fall asleep with a mantra, “tomorrow will be better.”

Tomorrow will be better.

It works.

My choice => up early, improving myself before my kids are awake.

Taking the two points together.

I will not blame you for sliding into a pity party, or righteous anger.

Every one of us can justify those feelings. I feel them in me – they come and they go.

I choose to let negative feelings go because they will not get me the life I want…

…for myself, for my marriage and for my family.

No fate.