My son loves to play the superpower game => we each get to choose one power.
As you can guess from the picture above, he’s a fan of super-strength.
I usually go for super-vision. I’m at the point where I need reading glasses and I miss the freedom of great vision.
When I think about improvement, it’s usually in the same mode as my son => Positive Action.
Gain a superpower.
My actual superpower isn’t vision, it’s persistence. Small actions, over long periods of time. For things I care about, it makes me very tough to beat.
However, there’s another way to approach it.
Pay attention to habits of self-sabotage and remove them. This one is a lot tougher because there is usually an unconscious payoff feeding our habits of self-sabotage.
Yesterday’s post about strong emotions was inspired by a moment from the middle of the toughest 24-hour block of last week.
I got so worked up that my best course of action was to stop talking and trust in a better tomorrow. I also reminded myself:
I promise to never knowingly hurt you.
Those seven words were my Friday night mantra and I fell asleep with the phrase silently going through my head.
Winning, even if it felt awful.
Sure enough, 48 hours along, I was feeling much better and there was no “clean up” required from blowing my stack.
Each time I don’t react, my habit of non-action strengthens.
So, if I could give my younger-self a superpower, it would be the ability to not-act, particularly when worked up.
It’s something I both learned from, and seek to pass to, my kids.
I learned non-action when my kids were preschoolers. Dealing with a three-year old requires the ability to constantly look past the moment, towards my ultimate goal (nap time). 🙂
A three-year old is similar to my negative emotions => both struggle to see past the moment.
As the kids grow up, I try to teach them non-action so they can get along better and I’m less stressed living in my own house. From yesterday, when one kids was (correctly) pointing out that the other was WRONG!
Sometimes it’s better to not-disagree so you can get through the moment, back to having fun with each other.
Let it go, let it go.
Tactical silence in situations where the relationship is more important than the issue of the moment.
If someone close to me is truly wrong then the world will do a good job at pointing that out to them => especially if they are heading towards their teen years, or have a lot of “detail-oriented” friends.
Sometimes the best course of action is non-action.
Start small, set a lot bar, practice daily.