Sitting here at 45 years old, I realize that my kids (5, 2.5 and 1.25 yrs old) will never know the man that I am today.
What can I pass along today that might be useful to them tomorrow?
Don’t waste energy worrying about decisions. Most of the choices that you will face are win-win in nature.
- The school you attend.
- The major you choose.
- The clothes you wear.
- The company where you work.
- The city where you live.
The above influence our lives but they aren’t mission critical.
What’s mission critical? Well, there are some choices that have life changing properties.
Choices that move us away from severely negative outcomes.
An obvious example is “stay out of prison” – drunk driving, chronic speeding and theft have a high risk of a felony conviction.
More subtlety, the best decision that I made in my 20s/30s was replacing drinking with exercise. At the time, I replaced one excess (drinking) with another (elite endurance sport). If you find that you’re obsessive (and many people in our family are) then replace your negative habit (promiscuity, alcohol, addiction, anger) with something less toxic (meditation, nutrition, exercise, yoga, work).
You’re unlikely to be able to transcend your drive. That’s OK. If you can get yourself into your 40s without too many mistakes then your body will naturally slow and you’ll find it much easier to live in your skin.
In our family, moving away from abuse, addition and promiscuity has been a way for us to improve life for everyone that follows us.
Your Relationship With The Truth
I can catch myself wishing that you’ll be doctors, leaders and externally successful. To the extent that I lay any of that on you know that I’m projecting my own values.
What’s most important?
Remember that truth is relative and pay attention to:
- How do the people around you make you feel?
- Are you tempted to lie because of your actions, your friends or your work?
Who, and what, ever your become, I promise that you’ll see the world differently at 30, 45, 60, 75 and 90 years old.
So what endures across time?
- Taking action for what you believe in.
- The internal peace that comes from living truly, inside ourselves.
Be aware the certain fields have a high risk for poor decisions. I’ve worked in a couple (finance and elite sport).
How will you know if there are risks? Pay attention to the lies. You will see lies in others before you start telling them to yourself. Small lies matter because they can be a symptom of corruption that you’re unable to see.
It will be a huge hassle to change direction when you discover lies – it always was for me. However, it’s the right thing for you to do. Ask me for stories and I’ll share.
Move away from people and situations where you can’t speak openly about the truth.
Exercise Is Medicine
You have a body that is a high-responder to exercise.
Do something active every day of your life and stop doing whatever prevents you from achieving a daily streak of exercise.
Taking my advice from the start of the letter… Don’t worry about what you do.
Remember that the benefit comes from the doing.