If you’re new to spending a lot of time with your spouse and kids then this may help.
De-escalation: your #1 priority is to constantly deescalate yourself.
- Spread the energy – as best you can, separate the kids
- Use headphones when they are on electronics
- Tag-team when home schooling and preparing meals – support your spouse by offering them time alone, not working alongside
- Feeling wound up? Channel your energy into a little bit of housework, in an empty part of the house. 8-12 minutes sessions, throughout the week, chill me out AND help the family.
Young kids? Go to sleep when they do. Wake up before them and do something positive for yourself.
Talk to my eyes: put another way, never, ever, offer advice from the couch
- If it’s not worth getting up and moving to where the “problem” is, then let it slide. This is a great filter because… when you are tired (not at your best, likely to make things worse) then you will tend to let it slide.
When someone offers assistance, acknowledge they will do things differently than you. Pause before you get involved! Their way is likely good enough.
Why? Because when you are spending 24/7 with someone, constantly helping will not be helping!
- I will do what needs to be done
- We will be maintaining our standards