15 Years

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Today’s my 15th wedding anniversary. I thought I’d leave something for my daughters.

I was born Canadian and figured if you’re going to marry an American then best to do it on the 4th of July.

In normal times, the benefits of a strong domestic partnership aren’t obvious. These aren’t normal times!

Being locked down with my wife is great. The other night I shared, “I could roll this for another 75 weeks, no problem.”

I saw my wife’s silent reply in her eyes… 75 frickin’ weeks?! Anyhow, she might not feel the same way about lockdown but she’s happy for me.

That might be a good first tip => the capacity to be happy for other people.

I had zero empathy through my 20s. Which bring us to the next tip…

End bad relationships early

You’re unlikely to get to a great marriage via a rocky courtship.

How will you know it is a bad relationship? Turn that question on its head.

Is it going to be the greatest mistake of your life if you let this person go? That’s how I felt when I proposed to Monica.

Be willing to be alone

A good marriage is an outstanding deal. It is worth a lot of effort to get there. There is so much stuff I don’t have to deal with.

However, there’s no rush to get there. It wasn’t until my 30s that I started to show any potential to be “marriage material.”

Don’t marry the prettiest girl in high school

This observation isn’t about being pretty, or being female.

It’s this… being treated like you’re special, for no good reason, from a young age, will skew your perception of the world.

All my best relationships, male and female, have been with people who grew up lower middle-class. The exceptions were financially comfortable but had to overcome significant emotional challenges growing up.

Pretty, gifted, athletic… from an early age… can make the rest of your life seem like a downer.

Don’t peak in high school.

How to spot a husband

Is he kind? Kindness takes time to develop in many people.

Will people work for him? You’ll be doing a lot of work together.

If people like working for him then you’re less likely to resent him. Female-to-male resentment is the #1 trait I come across in unhappy marriages.

A kind guy, that “people” enjoy working for.

You, and your kids, will become his people.

Good luck.