A couple weeks ago, I shared that Andy was “everywhere.”
No place is this more true than my home.
My new reality took a little getting used to.
At first, I resented the intrusion. My resentment struck my rational mind as somewhat strange.
Uncharitable feelings, but real.
So I dug a little deeper.
- Worry. I couldn’t heal my wife.
- Worry. Andy’s ghost might take my wife away.
- A general, get-out-of-my-house sentiment.
- A desire to use avoidance as a coping strategy.
Lots of not terribly useful thoughts.
So I decided to re-frame.
I asked myself:
- What did Andy do far, far better than me?
- Why was Andy loved so deeply by our community?
When I think about him, I’m reminded of kindness.
Kindness at a standard that seems far out of my reach.
So I’ve made him a buddha, of sorts.
…and when he’s popping up in my life, I know he’s reminding me to remember kindness.