I was at a Hanukkah party and the hostess asked me how my daughter was doing at school.
My off-the-cuff answer made a lot of sense…
She’s having fun and is motivated to learn. So I’ve decided to let it roll for a few years and see how she sorts herself out.
Strictly speaking, that’s not 100% accurate.
We’ve hired a tutor to help her for a couple hours on Saturdays and, despite her objections, she learns Spanish twice a week after school.
However, I can’t muster much enthusiasm for worrying about the details.
I don’t believe they matter.
After a particularly tough Saturday morning, I was walking around in the forest, trying unsuccessfully to settle myself down.
When highly agitated, I deepen/slow my breathing and consider the big picture.
If my role isn’t to worry then what is it?
What lies at the root of parenting failure?
What actions clearly make things worse?
Abandonment and retaliation
It struck me that the opposite of these actions – resilience and persistence – make excellent partners with my daughter’s core traits (joy and motivation).
So rather than putting pressure on her to worry about the details. I should put pressure on myself to demonstrate resilience and persistence. These are the two traits that my mother-in-law personifies and her daughter turned out fantastic.
Drive insight inwards.
Be the brand.
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