There are three phrases that I pay attention to when they enter my mind..
- If only…
- I wish…
- …not like me
All three are used when I’m trying to get the world to fit into a preconceived notion of what I deserve.
That notion is “more like me.”
I was watching my daughter’s Christmas recital and thinking 40 years (!) back to my preschool recital.
I was remembering sitting in my grandmother’s car after I had RUINED the recital by singing out of tune.
Smiling inwards at the child I was… a parent leans over to my wife and says, “I can’t figure him out, he’s nothing like me.”
Later, I say to my wife,
There’s nothing wrong with that kid.
Imagine living in a house where everyone thinks that there is something wrong with you and you can’t understand what you’re doing, or why you’re doing it.
Thankfully, that wasn’t my childhood. However, it is the living situation of many kids that are seen as “problems.”
It’s also how I’ve spent most my adult life – clueless on the sources of my effect on other people.
Whether we are talking about kids, or other people, we do everyone a favor if we remember that nothing is being done to us. Most the time, we’re observing a temporary situation that will work itself out.
Christmas vacation can be tough – remember that they will be back at school, grown up and in charge of us (!) soon enough.
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