I gave my crypto post a retweet yesterday
The post isn’t about crypto.
The post is about deciding where not to focus.
The post contains a filter:
1/. Will “this” make a difference?
2/. Will “not-this” make a difference?
“Family” is a 20+ year project that made a difference.
Like any big project – it is daunting at the beginning.
Many people fail to take the first step because they lack confidence in their ability to complete the task.
The first step was “me”
One of my favorite filters has to do with selecting a home base.
Live Where You Don’t Need To Leave
Applies to more than our hometowns
It applies to our careers, our home lives, our relationships
Let’s go even deeper
Be someone I’m not trying to escape.
- the way I act
- what I say
- what I write
- what I think
- how I want to be in the world
I started with with “say” and “write”.
- Write about the person I want to be.
- Stop talking about the things I didn’t want to be.
I was seeking to change patterns in my life
Patterns that led to my divorce – patterns that led to my current situation.
I wanted to be more like the person I wanted to attract into my life
Maybe, your list is different.
Write it down.
From my Rich Roll podcast
I knew if I didn’t marry this woman then it would be greatest mistake of my life.
Getting married is the easy part.
We’re planting a seed, attending a party, everybody likes to get married.
Building a marriage, however, requires effort over time.
Effort at overcoming ourselves, our pasts and, sometimes, unhelpful family habits.
One of the first lessons I learned in Private Equity, concession for concession.
Makes one an effective negotiator, screws up a family system.
Two main reasons
- Leaders do more than their share. To properly direct a team, we need to earn it.
- We never see all the work done by our teammates. If I think the work split is “fair” then, odds are, I’m not doing enough.
Fundamentally, I see marriage as an agreement to face the world, together.
It’s going to require both parties to put “together” first.
It can take a while to get used to this new way of thinking.
You have plenty of time.
Hopefully, a very long time.
Embracing an “attitude of no escape” will help you make the changes required for success.
Create a family where you don’t need to leave.
Lean into your difficulties.
My biggest problems led to my most meaningful solutions.