Monthly Archives: March 2017

It wasn’t enough

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When I follow my own advice, life is better.

At the back of my mind, especially with kids, I have a desire for life to be “easy.”

My desire makes me chuckle because my “easy days” are often boring.

Based on eight years of parenting… easy is not going to happen so focusing on “better” is a smarter option.

From time to time my appetites come up with ideas to make my life _even_ better.

  • These ideas might be small — five beers, two burgers, large fries and couple desserts
  • They might be large — a vacation property with a cost of ownership that doubles my core cost of living
  • Many fall in between — clothes, vacations, sports equipment, alcoholic beverages, risk-seeking friends

These desires pop up as an emotion associated with pleasure, excitement or release.

Certain choices, situations and people are associated with bad outcomes.

Despite an association with pleasure, excitement or release… many of my desires are highly-likely to lead me to bad outcomes.

To tame my appetites, I pause and consider the last time I gave into that specific appetite…

I ask myself…

Was it enough?

It was never enough. Not even close!

I remember always wanting more, even while I was getting what I wanted.

My desires are frequent, but my specific desires are fleeting.

They come and they go.

If it wasn’t enough then maybe I should find a better way to live….

…and that’s the system that I’ve been sharing.

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What’s your system?

Is it working?

Small Acts of Kindness

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Another tactic within my current system for living is small acts of kindness. Kindness has the greatest return of any choice I make.

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Think back to the last time you were disappointed after helping someone.

What was the nature of this disappointment?

If you are seeking external rewards then you might benefit from a change of mindset.

Here’s what works for me.

Each day, all sorts of thoughts run through my head.

When I’m under stress, I think about retribution, anger and violence.

This sort of thinking is particularly toxic when directed towards my kids. Not-acting on my thoughts exhausts me…

…especially when my negative experience appears to be caused by situations, and people, outside of myself.

But is it?

Who created the habits of my mind?

Regardless of the source of my habits (maybe it really is everyone else’s fault…), there’s only one person who’s going to be able to improve my inner experience.

Positive, and kind, actions despite the noise of daily living.

Sometimes the best I can offer is not giving voice to the negativity I am experiencing.

Anyhow, if you’re giving and expecting reward // or // not giving because you don’t see the benefit…

…then consider a change of approach.

I help in small ways to prove that I’m a good person despite my mental habits.