Some of what I know to be true is false.
Being (somewhat) wrong is a natural state of being.
It rarely harms me.
But when it does…
What to do?
Pay careful attention where error has the greatest impact on my life.
Blindspots – what are the areas where I am unlikely to be right?
In a marriage, a business partnership, an investment, a sport… the greater our personal, emotional investment… the bigger the fall when a new reality slams against our old beliefs.
Often a feeling of righteous anger comes forth, and along with it, a desire to lash out.
When these feelings arise I remember:
- I fooled myself. Make a note! It is going to happen again!
- Acknowledge, we all want to be fooled. I am not alone, nor am I the first to experience this situation. Nothing personal, bro.
- Further energy invested into a (clearly) losing situation is better spent creating the life I want, within my new reality.
It is easy to get hooked into a cycle of mutual retribution – it might even feel good, for a while…
…but you might not be aware of the harm you are creating.
Sleep, skin, hair, mood swings, cravings… all useful signals when we are off-the-path.
Tough to point this out directly to someone! The people who have been effective with me have said something along the lines of…
“I wonder if there might be a better way to handle this…”
“You’re right, of course, but you might feel different later…”
What’s the penalty for being wrong?
- Marriage partner
- My last haircut
- Sports with a high degree of concussion risk
- Business partnership
- The shirt I wear
- Personal guaranties
- The color of my socks
- Borrowing money
- What I am having for dinner
- The ability of my children to teach themselves
- My choice of car
- My temper
Be willing to talk about what matters, with the people who matter to you.
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