Monthly Archives: July 2019

Fasting and Chronic Weight Loss

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2019-07-23 14.47.50Let’s consider the second order effects of fasting.

Inside every one of us is an anorexic and a glutton. Be wary of strengthening these aspects of your personality. If you know what I mean, then you know what I mean.

What’s your goal? Similar to knocking out a major food group, fasting can be cover for a deeper desire for chronic weight loss. Chronic weight loss is not a viable life strategy. 

Health. I don’t buy the discussion on health benefits. It reminds me of counting calories => a technique, used by many, to self-rationalize poor choices.

Not smoking, reducing sugar, daily movement, wearing a seat belt… those make sense to me. Getting really, really hungry (so I can stuff myself later)… I’m not so sure.

Health is characterized by stability. Stability in body weight, sleep patterns, emotional wellbeing and cravings.

If you experience extremes in your emotional life then avoid them in your nutritional life (and everywhere else).

Own, then address, your extreme choices.

Thinking through consequences

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2019-07-16 08.01.59A friend confided in me that his FOMO (fear of missing out) is running hot. Stories of easy money have got to him and he wants to get in on the action!

This reminded me of 2005 – a year when I was planning a future life of luxury. I had a road map for how I would spend my paper profits… a house in Santa Barbara, a flat in Paris, summers in the high-country. The constant focus on acquiring more should have tipped me off, but I didn’t notice.

For Christmas 2005, I bought myself a copy of Fooled By Randomness.

It humbled, and deeply concerned, me. You should (re)read it.

In my business life, I had a personal guaranty outstanding. The guaranty was a modest amount of my “paper” assets but more than 100% of my liquid assets.

In my personal life, I had established a line of credit to pay my living expenses.

I realized I could be wiped out.

2019-07-16 08.21.00Taleb’s teaching…

There are some games you don’t want to play.

Some risks we should never take.

Across 2006/2007/2008, I secured my financial life. This decision saved me from ruin.

I had NO idea about what was going to happen (still don’t).

I had a clear idea of the scenario that would wipe me out. Approaching 40, with a new wife, I didn’t want to get wiped out.

I addressed what I controlled: my cash flows, my debts and my obligations.

Do you know what could wipe you out? Look to your borrowings, your obligations and your cash flows.

2019-07-16 07.57.56

Do you notice triggers that could create a shock to the system? In what ways is the recent past skewing our vision of the future?

  • Debt-fueled political stability in Asia
  • Negative yielding sovereign/corporate debt in Europe
  • Easy money at a time of multigenerational employment highs in the US
  • Global debt double 2008 levels

Across all markets, a low-interest rate policy:

  • Delaying the consequences of poor decisions
  • Pulling forward future returns
  • Reducing interest service obligations => while global debt has doubled the price of debt has more than halved

It impossible to predict when the credit cycle will play itself out.

It is possible, and advisable, to understand how you are exposed to ruin.

  1. Cash flows compared to fixed commitments (taxes, debt service, core cost of living)
  2. Asset purchases via debt finance => particularly negative yielding luxury purchases
  3. Credit quality => Who can go bust and hurt you?

Things go wrong when people build assets, and debts, to the top of the credit cycle.

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The photos were taken on the Twin Sisters in Rocky Mtn National Park – mountains provide an opportunity to teach about consequences.

Kids Don’t Lie

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2019-07-09 10.57.59A segment of our local community is dealing with the fallout from treating child abuse as an internal issue – rather than seeking assistance from local law enforcement.

I have been bumping into this story for over thirty-five years.

There is never just one incident. 

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Years ago, I attended a child abuse prevention workshop.

Remember…

Kids don’t lie – in over 20 years, my teacher had instructed 100,000 kids. Out of the 400 reports received, none were false.

20 years, 100,000 child interactions, 400 reports, zero false positives.

The perpetrator will have primed your child that you will be angry and not believe them. The most likely perpetrator is a male you know.

Have a no secret policy in your home – predators use secrets against our kids – let the kids know that kisses and touches should never have to be kept secret.

It is awkward to live an open life. Awkward is better than creating a culture of secrecy exploited by evil people.

Create a support network – have your kids name five people they know and trust (ideally women) – discuss places in their neighborhood where they feel safe.

When I’m walking around town, I’ll ask my kids… “Show me a safe person.” “Why is that person safe?”

Teach your kids that adult authority should never go unqualified => even your own!

Teach your kids… If you feel uncomfortable then:

  • Leave
  • Tell
  • Get Help

As a parent, the most important thing you can say is “I Believe You.” I say this a lot, I will “believe” somewhat ridiculous things.

People that commit evil deeds are hoping you will look away.

Be Brave.

 

Dealing with Difficult People

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2019-07-09 08.06.27We rolled through 14 years of marriage last week. So good!

My marriage is my most important, and easiest, relationship in my life.

This is surprising because I have a track record of being a very difficult person to live alongside.

A favorite bit of advice, paraphrased…

If you are surrounded by difficulties then remain open to the possibility that you may be playing a small role in creating them.

In my 20s, everyone tried to get through to me. Friends, co-workers, mentors, bosses, family… they were ineffective with their attempts to improve me.

Some might think the lesson is not to try.

That’s not my experience.

My experience has been to “try smarter” by focusing on: (#1) myself and (#2) getting expert advice on what those around me are likely to value.

In applying expert advice, I found it easiest to remove little bits of the “small role” I play in my relationship difficulties.

2019-07-04 19.17.39Bit #1 => my attitude is the main source of my (relationship) problems

I’m lucky to live with two people that are VERY easy to get along with (my son and my wife). They are my “canaries in the coal mine” – if they start to bother me… something is out of whack.

This is a major improvement for me. I used to get to the point where everyone, everything… would be bothering me.

When I’m on the other side of “everyone,” I pause and reconsider.

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Bit #2 => I can stay mad for DAYS

This is more common than any of us let on.

The good news… anger only becomes a problem if I act on it.

If I’m wandering around the house doing power-housework then my anger is only making myself miserable (see #1).

The payoff… once I settle down, there’s no emotional cleanup.

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Bit #3 => treat others the way they wish to be seen

The deep reservoir of goodwill I have for my wife and son comes from the match between their instinctive treatment of me and my deepest desires.

I am often unaware of my values & desires but I can intuit them by reflecting on the people I like to hang around.

For other people, I can sit quietly, listen and tweak my approach.

Call out culture does us a huge disservice, I have yet to regret leaving negative thoughts unsaid.

Better to keep my mouth shut and use the energy to improve myself.

2019-07-04 17.38.43-1

Strength & Training Strategy at 50

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2019-07-07 09.01.30Strength gives me better choices.

Specifically:

  1. Maintain muscle mass
  2. Challenge my connective tissue
  3. Strengthen my shoulder complex (to survive my inevitable crashes)
  4. Get the bio-chemical benefits from working large muscle groups anaerobically

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My base period needs to be longer: I was very consistent with strength maintenance across the ski season. As a result, I lost less strength than prior years. However, I was WORKED at the end of the season and my mojo stayed flat for a long time when I returned to more focused strength training.

Two, maybe three, “good” sessions per week: At 50, I go flat quickly! I need to be humble with the load I put into myself.

I split upper and lower body days: in order to do quality exercises, and recover, I split my workouts across the week:

  • Monday/Thursday – lower body
  • Tuesday/Friday – upper body
  • Wednesday/Saturday – plyo (~7 minutes total per day)

Very little sustained intensity: I lose a lot when I get sick and can’t train. Put another way, my ability to go training is more important than my training ability. A calendar of events would certainly push me to do more (likely for less benefit).

I go to the gym to be around people (even if I don’t speak to them!): the core of my program has been the same for 20 years. It would be easy to set it up in my garage. However, part of my “feel better” seems to come from the gym process. The most time-efficient setup isn’t always best.

My aerobic goal is “about an hour, every day.” I’ll go longer when I can hike trails with my wife or son. I do a bunch of walking on top of the aerobic exercise.

Learning to navigate the physical decline of middle age is a benefit of middle age.

The days that start with training are clearly better.

Pay attention to better.

2019-07-07 08.54.56

Alpha Tween

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2019-06-23 12.54.22

I’ve noticed that a couple mornings each month, she arises with one goal in mind…

Test. Pack. Hierarchy.

She has a go with random acts of sibling violence and a Marie-Antoinette approach to manners.

It’s tiring but far better than when she was an Alpha Pup, each of those days was a grind.

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We’ve tweaked our approach as she gets older.

Written schedule – always visible – seven days forward. Without the anchor of the school week, this is a huge help. Keeps me relaxed as well.

Binary choices – One of her weaknesses is self-directed time, so offering simple choices works for everyone. Frankly, I don’t care what she does (so long as she does something). Since her first birthday, when she’s not engaged… it’s been challenging.

With the top two in mind => Listen, consider. change later. In order to run the house, we need a schedule.

She understands “change later” and we make it clear when we’re adjusting the plan based on her feedback.

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If you have a go-with-the-flow personality then all the structure, rules, discipline… you’ll be asking, “Is this really necessary?”

If your home life is calm then “no, it isn’t.”

However, if you have a young person (or husband 😉 ) who is constantly trying to take command then they might do better with structure, routine and scheduling.

For a few days each month the conflict is real. For the rest of the month, she relaxes into the hierarchy and our mutual expectations.

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It helps to remember my goals for the kids:

  1. Daily physical activity
  2. Polite => most importantly, to people with no recourse
  3. Learn to teach yourself and live independently

I am at my most effective when I lead by example.

When I need to give guidance: immediate consequences and always follow through (especially when inconvenient).

She has a nose for inconsistency and weakness.