I’ve noticed that a couple mornings each month, she arises with one goal in mind…

Test. Pack. Hierarchy.

She has a go with random acts of sibling violence and a Marie-Antoinette approach to manners.

It’s tiring but far better than when she was an Alpha Pup, each of those days was a grind.

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We’ve tweaked our approach as she gets older.

Written schedule – always visible – seven days forward. Without the anchor of the school week, this is a huge help. Keeps me relaxed as well.

Binary choices – One of her weaknesses is self-directed time, so offering simple choices works for everyone. Frankly, I don’t care what she does (so long as she does something). Since her first birthday, when she’s not engaged… it’s been challenging.

With the top two in mind => Listen, consider. change later. In order to run the house, we need a schedule.

She understands “change later” and we make it clear when we’re adjusting the plan based on her feedback.

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If you have a go-with-the-flow personality then all the structure, rules, discipline… you’ll be asking, “Is this really necessary?”

If your home life is calm then “no, it isn’t.”

However, if you have a young person (or husband 😉 ) who is constantly trying to take command then they might do better with structure, routine and scheduling.

For a few days each month the conflict is real. For the rest of the month, she relaxes into the hierarchy and our mutual expectations.

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It helps to remember my goals for the kids:

1. Daily physical activity
2. Polite => most importantly, to people with no recourse
3. Learn to teach yourself and live independently

I am at my most effective when I lead by example.

When I need to give guidance: immediate consequences and always follow through (especially when inconvenient).

She has a nose for inconsistency and weakness.