A question I ask athletes is, “Why did you start?”

When sitting down with a family, I change the question slightly, “What is living well?”

Write down detailed answers.

Answering these questions honestly will surface your values and help you make better choices.

The answers will also help you understand when you’ve achieved victory, and you might discover something rather strange about winning.

You feel just the same.

Because you feel the same, you’ll be tempted to change your strategy. You will forget why you started and lose sight of what it takes to live well. You’ll strive for more.

The exact nature of your “more” will be influenced by your peers. Unsure? They will be happy to tell you. Just ask a room full of buddies… “What’s your proudest accomplishment?”

Look inside and see if you’re tempted to strive towards their goals.

With my academic, financial and athletic friends – I can feel the temptation to strive.

Striving towards another person’s answers might not fulfill you, especially as only a minority bother to consider the “why” behind their daily choices.

You may find that it takes a surprising amount of faith to stay the course. My list is exercise, write, read, love, help others and sleep.

It’s important to remember your answers. They are an effective antidote against the temptation to strive. In my case, striving is a result of desire: to buy assets, to make money, to compete against others, to go shopping and other variations of more more more.

• In a family
• In a marriage
• In a company
• In your life

How will you recognize success?

It might feel different than you expect.