Another component of the price I pay is to whom I direct my best self.
The answer cuts through all the BS I tell myself.
What do my kids actually see?
What does my spouse actually experience?
When I was trying to win an Ironman, my coaches and training partners saw my best self. These people were essential to my success and we had a great time doing what it took to improve.
Not coincidentally, I met my wife while training. During the summer of 2004, the only place you could find my best self was training for triathlon.
With the birth of my first child, success was frustrating remote. My internal life was frazzled, angry and exhausted. If I opted out then I would strain my marriage.
So I asked for help and studied experienced preschool teachers.
I paid attention to what was required to present my best self to my kids, and my spouse. [the list I shared]
I paid attention to the conditions present when I fell short (noise, conflict, hunger, fatigue).
Noise and conflict are inevitable with young kids. However, there are many opportunities to get support and stretch my emotional limits gradually.
Like the rest of this series – it makes more sense when we invert the advice.
Good people won’t stick around in the face of our worst selves.
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