Signal To Noise

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Have you ever considered your personal signal-to-noise ratio?

In-Bound

  • Email messages
  • Media
  • Internet sites
  • Twitter, Facebook and other social network feeds
  • Conversation topics of peers
  • Business partners and teammates

Just like with areas for self-improvement, it’s a lot easier to spot the in-bound sources of noise than the ones that I’m creating. What about out-bound noise?

  • What I write
  • What I think
  • What I say
  • What I post
  • What I tweet

In terms of my own noise generation, my two year experiment with inbox zero has trained me to ask:

  • do I need to read this;
  • what does this person need from me; and
  • to trim what hits my inbox.

I sure wish that same discipline came naturally on the larger internet. About the only way I can figure to free myself is rationing.

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Three random bits that might help:

The Big Picture does a daily email round up on business reading. Barry embeds the Mauldin letter that I like. If I’m honest with myself then Barry’s email is all I need to stay abreast of the “signal” aspect of the financial media, I don’t even need to read past the headlines.

My last piece prompted Steve to share this video on The Seven Year Itch. I’m going to take a sabbatical in 2013 and will be spending 2012 figuring out how to structure it. If you have resources for me to consider then please send them along.

I was running with my buddy, Scott Jones, and we ended with a question, “what aspects of my life do I take as a given when, in reality, they are self-imposed constructs“.

Working on that last one.

Happy Holidays and I’ll be back in 2012.

How To Keep Living

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Lately, I’ve been seeking a strategy for where I’d like to be in my 60s. The long-term strategy focus is being driven by a lack of goals beyond the end of this month. When I have open space in the present, I like to think about creating things that will have a major impact in the future.

In an effort to generate options and opportunity, I have been asking smart, older friends for input about how to live in my 50s. 

It’s a simple question that I pose: What advice do you have for me in my 50s?

They aren’t telling me what to do, today – so speak openly.  Also, because I am asking about their recent past, their advice gives insight into what they value in their 60s.

So far the best answer has been: friends, family and roots. The answer came from a pal that spent his 50s focused on wealth creation. As a result, in his 60s, he can do whatever he wants – which has little to do with how he spent the previous few decades. The skills and lessons from his 50s are different from what’s required to create success in his 60s.

At 42, I’ve never lived more than five years at the same address and the concept of ‘roots’ is foreign to me. As well, I have to acknowledge that that I might be getting the urge to turn my life upside down simply out of habit. So I dug a little deeper with my buddy, who said that roots are:

  • Long-term relationships
  • Feeling connected to a community
  • Stability in relationships, finances and personal security
  • Efficiency in daily living, technology, location and work environment

Because that definition didn’t impact my perception of freedom – it was easier to accept.

Another surprising observation has been how often people mention the negative impact on health of high stress. I’ve heard this across a wide range of people: working athletes to sedentary businessmen. It’s also something that’s repeated in Steve Job’s biography – the health cost of being CEO of Apple and Pixar simultaneously.

Some stress is OK, perhaps even essential for motivation, but too much has a health cost to where successful people see themseleves in their 50s and 60s. 

It’s conventional wisdom that we should work many years and retire in the future, ideally when we’ve achieved enough wealth for lifelong financial stability. Speaking from experience, that is a horrible trade-off and my friends that retire end up bored. Personally, I don’t see retirement as a goal, or particularly attractive.

I’ve worked in fields (finance, consulting, teaching, coaching) that span the full range of financial reward; very high to very low. In each field, I’ve worked with excellent people that were doing exactly what they wanted every-single-day. The goal isn’t to stop working; the goal is to find work that will be rewarding through each phase of our lives.

I’ll leave you with a final tip that I came across. Don’t network. Focus on building strong friendships and helping others achieve their goals. 

No answers yet but the brainstorming has been fun.

Real Men Do Cry

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The last time I broke down in public I was trying to articulate what it was like to totally commit to winning Ironman Canada and not achieve my goal. Looking back, it was a highly effective explanation, but difficult to explain in words!

Collectively, we share an aversion to pain and protect ourselves by limiting commitment and managing expectations. This provides an opportunity to succeed through uncommon commitment – the flipside of which is temporary pain if we fall short.

I’ve been working on a writing project that shares what I’ve learned so far about wealth, longevity, real estate, personal finance, marriage and kids. As part of that process, I’ve been reviewing a dozen years of blogging and came across an article from December 2004.

The article references my Top Ten List from March 2000.  

  1. Touch someone with my writing
  2. Clean out my computer room (had to have one easy one!)
  3. Relax more
  4. Sub-10 at an IM
  5. Buy a house to have a base
  6. Be published in a major magazine or in a forum where a wide audience can read me
  7. Get rid of a lot of stuff in my life
  8. More love in my life
  9. Write entertaining pieces that make people laugh
  10. A new career that would give me time to do what I want as well as travel

Over a decade ago, I wrote an outline of a life that I wanted to create for myself.  I was 31 years old, working at a desk job and wishing I was somewhere other than Hong Kong. When I read that article, I smile because my pals in Boulder would recognize the guy that I describe but I had NO idea who was within me.

In fact, 11 years on, I managed to go further than my wildest dreams.  That knowledge cheered me up last week, when I was nursing a rib injury and wondering what the heck I was going to do with the rest of my 40s.

So I think it’s time to put myself out there again and write my Top Ten List as at November 2011.

  1. Be able to walk to world class long course masters, ideally at Stanford University
  2. See my wife vibrant within our marriage
  3. Have my kids tell people their Dad loves them
  4. Publish my second book
  5. Complete a new high mountain cycing route each year
  6. Stay fit enough so I continue to get a mini speedo given to me on my birthday
  7. Start my fourth career
  8. Maintain freedom of location and occupation
  9. Quarterly retreats in nature
  10. Touch 1 million people with my writing

It will be fun to look back when I’m in my 50s and see how I did.

This week a friend joked that when you spend your entire life acting like a dog chasing a car, it can be tough to figure out what to do when you finally bite the bumper…

…I guess you write another list and enjoy the ride.

Filtering Towards Clarity

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In September, I decided that I was going to dial down technology.  I’ve made progress and the changes have created space within my week. 

I’ve used the additional space to read and write.  Purchasing a Kindle made books easily available and I’m reading one title per per week, up from one per annum. While I haven’t been active on this blog, I’m three chapters into my next book and have been writing weekly for the Endurance Corner site.  

My increased productivity was achieved by deleting apps, turning my phone off more often and simplifying my daily structure to:

  • Wake up by 7am;
  • Write two pages of my book;
  • Do some exercise;
  • Meet my work commitments;
  • Spend time with Moncia, Lex and Ax.

Interestingly, this change didn’t happen until I was injured and decided to compensate by becoming more productive in my work life. Throughout my athletic career, my work has been an essential back-up plan to cope with unplanned setbacks.

One of the books that I read was Isaacson’s biography on Steve Jobs. My take from the book was the singular focus of Job’s life: Make Great Products.

Similarly, when I speak with champion athletes, I find that they filter their lives:

  • Get to the Olympics;
  • Win A Medal;
  • Win World Champs;
  • Be An Ironman Champion.  

Whatever their goal might be, life passes through a simple filter of what they are seeking to achieve. People that get to the top of their field create habits that let them say no to attractive opportunities.

To get stuff done, create your filter and get to work repeating a simple routine that moves you towards your goals.

After months of talking about it, I made a few small changes and will get my book drafted by the end of the year. It wasn’t the clutter in my life that was holding me back – it was habit as well as a focus on other attractive opportunites.

What do you want to achieve and what’s it going to take to get there?

Keep it simple, and persist.

Lessons From Lexi

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Tahiti

This is an extract from the birthday card that I made for my daughter.  She’s three.

The picture above, and on the card, is her parents on the island of Tahiti. We didn’t need to travel to French Polynesia to have peace in our hearts but it certainly didn’t hurt.

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Happy Third Birthday!

You are a great daughter and I wanted to share a couple of things that I’ve learned from you.

As you go through life, keep these close to your heart because people sometimes forget them.

The best way to greet a friend is with a hug and a smile. We love your smile and we love your hugs.

Last week, you barfed in my car. Some day you’ll have to clean up someone else’s barf but this isn’t the lesson. What I really love about you is you didn’t carry the experience with you. Learn from the past then leave it. At the bottom of the canyon, you told me before you went blah (your word, not mine). Thanks for learning!

You are a very strong little girl.  Remember that the difference between bossy and assertive is manners.

Finally, you taught me that I love you is better than I’m sorry. I’m grateful and I love you, even when you pinch me (you ask me about this a lot right now).

Hugs,

Da-da-daddio

 

Ironwar, Pain and Doping

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A decade before I did my first triathlon, I remember watching Mark and Dave duel on Wide World of Sports.

We never know where life will take us and my life took me to both Mark and Dave. Until some joker writes an unauthorized biography on me, I’m the only one that truly sees the irony.

Because Mark, Dave and Jane (Dave’s sis) took an interest in me, my life is better every single day. I use what they taught me throughout my life.

If there’s a lesson in coaching then it is the long-term impact we can have on our athletes. My life’s mission is to share the lessons that I’ve learned from working with great men and women, people like Mark and Dave.

The guys told us what they think about the book (fiction, fantasy and fabrication) and, initially, I had not planned on reading it.  However, Velopress is my publisher and, on reflection, I wanted to know what my business partners are up to.

I’ll cut to the chase.

Ironwar lacks honor.

The book has caused unnecessary stress and pain to the guys, and their families. The book is a long-term business mistake. People of quality want to work for companies with strong ethics.

It’s in every one’s interest to do the right thing.

I’d like to see the parties come together, rewrite the book and tell the real story of Mark and Dave’s careers.  My family has heard it from both of them.  It would be a product of which everyone could be proud.

You can reach the publisher of Velopress at: Ted Constantino (tcostantino@competitorgroup.com) and the investors behind Competitor Group at: Mitch Thrower (mitchthrower@yahoo.com).

Always be willing to make a little less money to do the right thing.

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Athletes talk a lot about soaking up pain. Good, but not great, athletes are all about pain and depletion.

Here’s how going fast feels to a guy that’s gone 8:29 and won Ultraman.

If I feel pain in my body then I am feeling resistance, generally it’s a mental resistance to the way things are at the time. Whether I am experiencing physical pain, anger or fear – it all has the same root cause – resistance to the way things are.

The greats have a tremendous capacity to accept, endure and open themselves up to the experience of going fast.  Some folks call this Athletic Flow but the easiest way to explain it is a total physical relaxation with a mind that’s void, but completely open. It’s well documented in all spiritual, and sports psychology, texts.

This concept of flow is available to us all. It’s a mistake to focus on pain. Athletes that focus on pain, find it… …then end up chronically injured.

It’s the same with fear and anger, which are toxic to our lives outside of sport.

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Seeing as I’m telling you what I really think this morning… doping.

A number of my pals are racing Ironman Hawaii and a few of them have been targeted by the haters.

As an insider, what can I tell you about doping? With certainty I can confirm:

  • Athletes that cheat have done very well at Ironman.
  • Athletes do not need to cheat to do very well at Ironman.

You are the only person that will ever know if you are clean. You can’t prove it, so live true to yourself and love your inner circle.

Where I’ve ended up with doping (other than John 8:7) is to acknowledge that energy spent trying to “fix” others would be better spent improving myself and helping the stars in my life.

In terms of racing, if you want to avoid cheaters then race your pals, locally, in events without prize money or championship slots. It’s why I went to Big Kahuna this year.

Cheaters are focused on winning, external recognition, sex and money – these are false gods of achievement.  Success, and meaning, is found by overcoming ourselves.

To end, I’ll paraphrase Chris McCormack, as it’s relevant to all three sections:

Just because you can’t sort yourself out, don’t try to pull down another.

Be Great,

gordo byrn

Real-World Personal Planning

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Across the summer, Endurance Corner had a series of articles about creating the life structure of an elite amateur athlete. Sue laid out very specific ideas for creating the space necessary to get stuff done. Even if you’re not focused on maximizing your athletic performance, the articles have ideas that will help you create the space necessary to undertake a major life project.

When we read articles on time management, our minds will list reasons why we can’t.  That’s OK. When I consult on time management, I make the point that you don’t want to (try to) implement everything.  

Take one idea and implement it now.

Make that first idea a habit then take another and implement it now.

People that fail to get stuff done are trying to get too much done.

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A common error is to think that money is holding us back.  The thinking goes…

…if I only had enough money then I could sub-contract my shopping, meal prep, cleaning, driving, child care… and I wouldn’t have to work. I’d be on permanent vacation and I’d be happy.

Given my previous career in finance, I know many people that choose to live a life that’s “fully sub-contracted.” Most of them are bored.

The best lesson of the last recession (2008/2009) was re-learning to enjoy daily living. Faced with a massive reduction in personal income, I brought my life completely “in-house.” My life is more stable now and I’ve lost the illusion that a utopia of happiness lay ahead – if I could just rid myself of daily life.

Because there is tremedous social, and media, support to follow a path of luxury (ever reduced responsibility, ever increasing wealth) – I pay attention to individuals that choose to stay engaged, regardless of their capacity to subcontract.

What can we learn from these highly productive people?

My friend’s profile:

  • Married with kids
  • Sits on 10-12 boards
  • Manages his own business, which he founded and continues to lead
  • Oversees 50+ managers in his capacity as a fund trustee 

It’s tempting for me to write “despite all this, he is still a great athlete.” My buddy would tell you “because he’s so busy, he has the skills to be a decent athlete.”

What can we learn from a man that doesn’t want to subcontract his life, wants to be extremely productive and retains the freedom to achieve personal goals?

The best time to talk with an endurance athlete is during moderate exercise. I took advantage of an opportunity to conduct a running-interview (my version of a walking meditation). Key tips:

On an rolling annual basis: place the big things first – block out full days for important items and get away from your daily routine to apply total focus.

On a daily basis: focus on a limited # of things – know what you want to get done each day and check the alignment of how you spend your time.

Rotate your focus: triathlon focused years (self) alternate with family focused years (others).

Learn how to say no a lot – he passes on ~20 attractive opportunites per day (!)

Be willing to make unpopular decisions that are in the best interests of the people you represent – achieve this by having alignment with inner circle (spouse/family/work/self).

Be an exemplar – first up in the morning, first out the door, most productive.  Being an exemplar creates considerable personal freedom.  Freedom flows through being fit for leadership.

None of the above require money and I find these traits present in most my peers that are highly satisfied with their lives.

Be Great.

The Pursuit of Happiness

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I’ve had four people ask me about happiness in the last week. I give better answers after I’ve had a chance to think – so this blog brings together a few themes from September.

I’m most happy when I’m serene. Because serenity doesn’t look happy – the people around me often wonder if I’m ok.  I’m doing great, thanks.

Over the past two weeks I’ve been thinking about three themes: Young Children; Noise; and the Role of Technology in my life.

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Young Children

When Lex (our oldest) was born, I intuitively knew that the main goal of childcare was to keep her alive. This isn’t a joke. I think health & safety is #1 for what we can bring young kids.

What I struggled with was the lack of measurable goals, targets, metrics or anything associated with kids. With a two, or three, year old… there’s not much to achieve.

I thought: What’s going to be most valuable to me at 65 or 75 years old?

I answered: Friendship, companionship and love.

So I’m focusing on two things with Lex: health & safety (always #1) and demonstrating love to the people around her. 

After a disappointing trip in August, I changed a few things for this family vacation.

Rotate the kids with more adults than children. We had one day where all the adults were with all the kids, all day.  We were SHOT by nightfall.  The days where we split up time with Lex went a lot better.

Pace myself with a lot of sleep and never get “too tired.” 

Remove time pressure.  This was the most valuable insight for me. Everything with children takes twice as long as I’d expect. That’s ok because I don’t want to run out of things to do when taking care of a two-year old!  Each day, I’d choose one event that would take about an hour to complete.  Then we’d head off and take 3-4 hours to get it done.  Young kids are some of the least productive people on the planet but that’s ok.

Forget about work and training. My family arrived the day AFTER my event and I took the week off training and coaching.

Remember that the greatest gift of kids is their ability to bring love into the world. When I view my daughter as a little teacher helping me learn to chill out, everything is easier. 

Being loved by a little person makes me happy and that’s enough of a benchmark.

For those of you with experience with Eastern Philosophy, you might recognize the ‘zen’ of two-year olds: respect life, be love and enjoy the journey… easier said than done!

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The Role of Technology

Life without technology is much more serene, but I get lost frequently.

At the beginning of the week, it was embarrassing to realize that I could barely think without my phone.  

Truth be told, I borrowed Monica’s phone most days to avoid getting completely lost or to google information on my planned activity with Lex.

My main insight was that there’s nothing wrong with living via technology but I would like to try living my life more with my key three (Monica, the kids and training in nature).  To dial down technology, I need to make changes:

  • Check the news once per day
  • Remove Twitter from my iPhone.
  • Check Facebook and Twitter 1-2x per day.
  • Turn my phone off when I’m not using it.

My goal is to see if I can pull this off until my birthday in late-December.  

The above seems simple but will be tough for me – I was checking my phone a couple times per hour and physically repetitive habits run deep.

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Noise, Serenity and Happiness

I’ve been eliminating the sources of noise for the last decade.  There’s been a material improvement in the quality of my life but it has been a challenge given technology’s creep in my life.

The main sources:
  • Media / News / Television
  • Internet / Chat Forums
  • Social Networks
  • Toxic People
  • Attraction To Drama
  • Psychological Issues That Are Unlikely To Resolve
Drama has an emotional hook on me and it’s easy to get addicted to the charge of negative emotions.

Serenity can feel boring compared to irritation, shock, envy, anger… however, it is where I want to take myself so I’ll keep chipping away.

 

Establishing Priorities

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It has been almost two years since I’ve done a cyber vacation. Next week, I’m going electronics free! At the same time, I am going to take a week off from structured training. That’s going to leave a heck of a lot of time to think. So this entry is for both sharing my experiences and prepping myself to consider my 2012 strategic direction.

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Last spring, while renovating our house, I spent a few weeks with my desk, bike trainer, clothes and computer in our guest bedroom. About the only thing I was doing outside the room was eating, swimming and running.  I had a realization while spending up to 18 hours per day in my guest room, I was really, really happy. I’ve been considering what was ‘right’ with that block of time for the last six months.  I’ve also made decisions to simply my work-life to free up more time for the things that appear to make me happy – exercise, my wife, and my daughter.  

I’ve paid attention to myself when I have not been enjoying my key three (exercise, wife, daughter) and I’ve noted how best I like to experience my key three.  I’ll share some observations that might be useful for you:

Combining my loves reduces my quality of experience. Going for a run with my wife and carting Lex along in the baby jogger is far less fun than going for a solo run in the hills; going to a playground with Lex and taking Monica out for dinner. We had a rather unfulifilling family vacation in August. It was a good reminder than nearly everything that I need can be found right at home.

Action leads emotion. I manage my mood through sleep, exercise and nutrition. While Monica gives me a lot of support (to the point of dragging me out the door to run with her), ultimately responsibility for my life experience rests with actions that I chose to make and need to keep on making.  As I write this, I am spending a week training-through-fatigue. Given the way my brain works, total rest is one of the worst things I can do for my mental health.  So when I get really tired, I need to manage myself back to normal over a couple weeks.  I also need to take responsbility to managing my fatigue so I don’t get too far gone and sink into depression via poor choices with regard to sleep, exercise and nutrition. It’s a dance that only a minority of people learn to manage – and I’m still working on it myself!

Sleep trumps everything. Well rested, I find my most challenging days entertaining. My amusement feeds into the situation and helps difuse it. This past week, Lex turned into a Tasmanian Devil and started tossing lego blocks all around the room, while screaming.  I was sitting on the toilet chuckling to myself that she was really fired up. I headed out into her room, asked her how she was doing and she settled right now. When tired, I can feel myself wanting to lead by domination.  When rested, I’m able to lead by letting situations run their course.  There have been times in my life when I’ve been chronicly sleep deprived and, therefore, oblivious to my own role in creating my ‘problems.’

September and April have traditionally been the months where I take stock of my life via a personal review.  This year my financial, personal and family lives feel like they are in order – my main issue is ‘what’s next’ for my business life. I’ll let you know if I come up with anything while walking around in the Redwoods.

g 

 

 

Obesity in America

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Obesity is back in the news and, as a former fat person, I thought I’d share some observations.

Personally, I doubt this is a problem that the Federal government can effectively address. Working with motivated populations, my success rate for creating sustainable change is low. Obesity is a distraction from the real issues:

  • inactivity;
  • high stress lifestyle choices;
  • safe activity environments for kids; and
  • a collective focus on consumption, rather than quality of experience.  

Even if government could “fix” us, there are other issus that I’d like them to sort first.  #1 being sustainable finances.

The way we look is a result of habit, social pressure and personal choice. By choosing to live in Colorado; creating a habit of daily exercise; and living with (extreme!) social pressure to maintain an athletic body… I am insulated from the impact of obesity. So if you think obesity is a major issue for America then consider saving yourself, first. I’ve achieved this by living in communities that embrace an active lifestyle (Christchurch and Boulder). An active life didn’t come naturally to me — it feels natural now, but that’s because I made choices to create the habits to sustain it.

Much of the online discussion reminds me of two intellectual traps: (a) thinking our lives will be better from legislating improvement in others; and (b) over-estimating our ability to impact others. My buddy, Bevan, wrote an interesting blog on proposals for a Soda Tax.

A process that works to create change: 

  • improve myself;
  • share good information; and
  • help the stars in my circle repeat the process.  

If your goal is a positive impact then focus on your friends that “get it.” Those are the individuals with potential to become stars in their local communities and the personal charisma to inspire others. As a team leader, it takes a lot of discipline to shed the chaotic and the head cases. The paradox is that we can most impact the world by helping those that don’t necessarily need us. The chronically needy remain needy. Their neediness reflecting a desire for attention and love – rather than their stated goals. Interestingly, the strategy to treat “problems” with love and acceptance works surprisingly well. Inner self-acceptance being a catalyst for external change.

There’s a moral certainty amongst the fit that is an illusion. We’re not better, we’re merely fit. I have friends that have been overweight their entire lives. Daily, they have lived exactly the way they wanted. Like me, they’ve had 25+ years of doing what they wanted.  Like me, they will live and they will die. Getting wrapped up about their weight doesn’t do any of us much good. We might as well enjoy the time that we have left together.

The real issue for society is inertia. My quality of life links strongly to activity level, not my body fat percentage.

To change the world, help one person get moving.