Tag Archives: self improvement

How I Do Email

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gmailFive years ago I took a two-week vacation and came home to 1,500 email messages. I spent 20 hours clearing the backlog and realized that something had to change.

My system will give me an extra 250 hours per annum – for the rest of my life.

If you’ve ever wondered where you could find-the-time then email is likely your greatest source of increased productivity.

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#1 – I started by switching to gmail

#2 – When an email arrives I have four choices:

  • Delete
  • Deal with it
  • Unsubscribe
  • Action

Delete – end the thread and do the world a favor

Deal with it – anything in your life that takes two minutes, or less, to complete… Do It Now – remember you’ve already interrupted yourself by checking email

Unsubscribe – this is a pain in the ass when you start – there’s so much coming… however, after five years I average less than one unsubscription per day.

Action – for items that require clear thought, or take more than two minutes, move to your “action” folder

#3 – Once a week, go top to bottom in your action folder

  • Give people what they need – no more
  • If It takes more than four lines then be sure to save your work – FAQs, blogs, article ideas
  • You have a limited number of keystrokes in your life, don’t waste them, or someone else’s
  • Any message that was in the action folder the last time you went through, make an appointment in your calendar to deal with it and delete. If you blow off the appointment then it wasn’t important

Learn to use filters so high volume senders can be automatically sorted to a directory and dealt with as a batch.

Teach your high volume senders to reduce their emails to a single message that you can deal with efficiently.

One-on-one email interaction should be priced at your highest rate per hour. Remember that it is your lowest reach method of communication – you’re only reaching one person, max.

#4 – Learn gMail HOT KEYS – worth another 10-25 hours a year

  • J – forward to next message
  • K – back to previous message
  • Y – remove current label
  • R – reply to sender
  • A – reply all
  • O – open
  • [tab] return – send

It’s worth the pain to change.

What I Learned Last Year

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biscottiTwo themes have dominated my goals for the last couple of years: my relationship with my eldest daughter and my finances.

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Kids – my daughter worked herself out, no input from me. I didn’t change her nature, I accepted it, and we enjoyed the inevitable progression from preschooler to school-age girl.

For my pals with kids – avoid abandonment and retaliation – everything else is details.

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Optimism is the only worldview borne out by the facts.

At the end of 2008, I wrote-off 65% of my family balance sheet, was unemployed, owned a loss-making business and was facing civil liability relating to large-scale fraud.

You may have forgotten but everything we were reading was doom and gloom. In reality, that was one of the most useful periods of my life because I was forced to face the gross inefficiency of my spending choices.

The changes that result from earlier setbacks lead to an appreciation of a more simple life and I’ve continued to strip away non-core activities.

My wife is stumped when asked, “What does Gordo do?”

I enjoy my life and serve my family

Act in the spirit of service to the people that love you.

Act as if things will work out.

Keep simplifying.

Free yourself to spend time on what matters.

For the pessimist in your head that likes to point out that we’re all dead in the long run… be wary of overstating your importance in the world.

My death will be a setback for a few people but it won’t change the positive trajectory of history. I will play my role then hand off to the younger generation.

There will be tears and that’s OK.

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Human Capital & Family Finances

What can each of us bring to our families, and communities?

Strong relationships built on mutual respect and strengthened via self-improvement.

Six years ago, I was left with a home and cash assets. With interest rates moving towards 200-year lows, I realized that I had to be invested. I made an error by going all-in with real estate. Why an error?

  • I was geographically concentrated – the bulk of the portfolio was within two miles of each other.
  • I invested too much – I failed to understand the short-term cash needs of my young family, which arrived in 2008/2011/2012.
  • Each asset represented many years of living expenses – lumpy assets are inefficient when you’re moving towards retirement.
  • Real estate takes a long time to sell. With a traditional portfolio, a gradual sell down is easier to achieve.

My purchases had a margin of safety and I was able to trade my way out of the situation – 4 out of 8 addresses have been sold. Start to finish, it will take 8-10 years for me to change my asset allocation. Our family financial structure gave me time to make the change, we earned income, and we had exposure to asset appreciation.

Time worked things out – we did well but so did all others that were invested from 2009 to 2014.

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The final lesson – I am greedy in irrational ways. I can soothe my ego by noting that my flaws are widely shared.

I am susceptible to the Endowment Effect. I overvalue what I have – my wife had to force me to sell our old house, I wanted to hold out.

I overvalue future desires. I’m constantly fooling myself that MORE will make a difference.

My antidote:

  • Write down my desires (steam shower, truck, boat, kitchen appliances, vacations, clothes, car, office, ski chalet) then wait and let desire pass
  • Make the wealth cost of “more” both painful and visible
  • Note the choices that create my best days (train AM/PM, help someone, learn, write, teach, spend time with my wife, under scheduled)
  • Spend money to create true luxuries (childcare, time to think, time to learn)
  • Schedule my happiness essentials (time in nature, time with my wife, quiet time to think)

Keep it simple:

  1. Notice the good in life
  2. Write good things down
  3. Do more good things

The Money Value of Time – Personal Pricing – What Am I Worth

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This is a useful calculation for time management.

Print this page out, write your answers beside mine, don’t think too much!

Annually, I make the calculation at the level of Business, Family, Household and myself.

Today, I share the calculations for my consulting business.

Start with time:

  • How many weeks a year do you want to work?
  • How many days a week?
  • How many hours per day?

Weeks * Days * Hours = Billable Hours

That’s the time that you have in a year to generate revenue.

What should you charge per billable hour?

Desired Net Income + Overheads = Gross Revenue Req’d

Gross Revenue Required / Billable Hours = Rate Per Hour

A case study from my 40s to illustrate:

Screenshot 2014-12-16 09.13.06

The first column was my 2009 goal for my athletic consulting business.

  • Generate $5,000 per month net cash contribution to my family
  • One week per quarter spent training alongside the team
  • Four hours of focused work per day
  • One day off per week

The second column was reality, and it was a good life.

  • Work every day
  • Discover I can only be productive for three hours per day
  • Take two weeks off and return to 1,500 email messages – realize that I can’t “bill” for my email inefficiencies!

The third column is a goal for my 50th birthday.

My goal either seems small, or large, depending on where you’re at.

It helps that I work for people that “bill” at large multiples of my target.

  1. Understand: Your average billing rate is your new minimum
  2. Vow: I will stop doing low-value work
  3. Consider: Where can I deliver 2x my billing target in value added

Can I be 3x more efficient than a $35 per hour coach? Yes. The two-year transition was painful but I got there.

However… when I arrived at the middle column, I needed to make a decision moving left (for a little more time) or moving right (for way more time).

Increasing my value added per hour requires more than simply guiding exercise. Shifting towards far greater value added makes sense.

How much of your time is spent on what brings satisfaction to your life?

The table below came from a recent coaching clinic – I asked the coaches why they coached.

why_coach

In business, family, love and parenthood…

What’s your why?

Share experiences with the people that love me.

Early Retirement – The ratio of spending to security

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thanksJustin put me onto Mr Money Mustache’s blog (“MMM”). MMM makes a point that if you have a balance sheet that equals 25x your annual spending then you should be set for life.

What prevents us from getting to the magic ratio?

At my best, I see debt and spending as where to focus.

When I’m feeling sorry for myself, I might blame taxes, lack of income or the cruelty of fate.

Like Mr. MM, I retired early. In fact, I’ve had three retirements – two voluntary and one via the insolvency of my de facto employer.

When I was living first class in my late 20s, I realized that I could slash my spending by 90% and take a year long vacation. This change didn’t get me to the magical 25x ratio but it got me close. I worked part-time (as a coach) and knew that I could tighten my spending and get myself to 40x covered.

Somewhere around 2002, I got caught up in the bull market that ran through to 2008. My spending rose, and rose, and rose, and rose. I didn’t mind as I was making good money. If you’re in a high-paying profession then you’re prone to this risk. I’m not unique. Docs, dentists, lawyers and finance professions often extend their careers by 10-25 years by cranking expenditure and borrowing.

My life came to a head in 2008 when the economy went off a cliff, my income dropped 95% and I had grown accustomed to my spending.

Boy did it hurt to stop spending money.

It hurt because I didn’t see the link between spending and the anxiety that filled my life.

Inside my head, the battle raged…

  • I DESERVE…
  • I HAVE NEEDS…
  • IT”S NOT FAIR…

What I was really saying is, “it hurts so much to change. I just want to be happy, please leave me alone.”

I see plenty of conflict in relationships over money. Historically, much of my irritation over clutter stems from an underlying financial anxiety that I’m not addressing via my own habits.

Quite often the main breadwinner delegates the financial planning function, putting their spouse on an allowance and creating a external target for internal angst.

A couple years ago, I realized that I’d done this to my wife. I had to own my fears, change my spending and redirect our family.

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I had the courage to take my first retirement at 31 because I remembered the freedom that came from living like a student.

I forgot that lesson, increased my net worth by 500%, and felt completely insecure at 40.

Every $10,000 of expenditure requires $250,000 of assets to buy me financial peace of mind.

What’s the true cost of your spending?

What could you achieve if you removed unnecessary anxiety from your life?

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I have buddies that are planning to work an extra decade – to build assets sufficient to support a spending rate that doesn’t bring happiness and strains their home life. They tell me stories of their children begging them to work less.

The pain is real.

So are the benefits from incremental change.

The Season of Giving

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3_kidsI’ve been reviewing next year’s family budget. There are four categories where I have a lot of discretion: donations, date nights, couple retreats and vacations.

Donations/Gifting: Halfway through year, it was looking like I would have to borrow to maintain my preferred gifting rate. I hate borrowing so I cut the budget in half.

Late in the year, we sold our house and I was able to hit our original goal.

It wasn’t until I played The Dollar Game that I started to understand the physiological and psychological benefits of being open to other people.

I like having a formal budget. I never have to consider if I can “afford” to be open to another person. I know that I can always help someone, at least a little bit. As well, when I feel that I’ve been ripped off, I tell myself that the money came out of my gifting allocation and I move on.

Vacations: For a long time, I’ve wanted to ride my bike to the top of Haleakala in Maui. At an elevation of 10,023 feet, the volcano is a biggie.

So I added a Maui vacation to my 2015 budget.

When I ran the numbers for airfare, childcare, condo rental… climbing the volcano was going to cost me close to $1 per vertical foot.

My Colorado price per vertical foot is a penny!

If my goal is satisfaction and a life with meaning… is the Maui trip the best use of the money?

Does short-term luxury lead to satisfaction across a year? Maybe if I take a lot of pictures!

I made a list of alternatives…

  • Get 2,000 $5 notes and play a massive $5 version of The Dollar Game – gets rid of my worry that a dollar isn’t enough to help – that’s a big stack of cash
  • Sponsor 100 people for The Dollar Game – I ruled that one out because the effect doesn’t seem to work with someone else’s money
  • Build 15 homes in the developing world
  • Overtip all year – feel like a big shot – own the fact that my desire to climb the volcano is the ego-picture from the summit
  • Sponsor a teaching assistant for my daughter’s kindergarten class so the little people learn more quickly – guaranteed kudos
  • Buy 30 iPads for the school – additional kudos, perhaps more if done anonymously, to appear humble
  • Increase my giving budget – open my heart more often, to more people

Once you start frequent, small gifts – it turns out that the person that you’re helping the most is yourself.

I don’t regret my inefficiencies. I’m sure that I’d love the trip to Maui.

Luxury spending doesn’t have the staying power of an open heart.

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My original article on The Dollar Game and a follow up one year later on giving.

More on Couples Retreats and my marriage – Article 1 and Article 2

Behavior Not Protocol

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winterIn any given field, the bulk of our performance comes from choosing appropriate behaviors rather than optimizing protocol.

Take wealth, I’ve been reading a second book by Nick Murray and he makes the point that behavior is the single greatest source of wealth creation. He goes further to make the point that it has a greater impact than all other factors combined.

In reading the book, it struck me that he could easily have been describing athletic performance.

  • Balanced program
  • Frequent small contributions towards the goal
  • Most people beat themselves
  • Train yourself to overcome human bias and misjudgment

For every wealth behavior, I can find a similar fitness behavior. Works the same with common errors (selling in fear, chasing performance, not resting, fear of fatigue).

Looking forward to 2015, what behavior is required to achieve your goals? Don’t focus on more than three.

What are the most common mistakes that “everyone else” makes in seeking similar goals? Individual experience is a mirage. What are the most common errors made in my field? How best to create a system so I avoid repeating the mistakes?

Regardless of your field…

  • One small daily step – keep chipping away
  • Drive experience inwards – take all external irritations and change them in MYSELF
  • Let go of non-core – our best work requires a clear mind, a clear mind comes from letting go
  • Refuse to make predictions – pundits do worse than random – stay focused on behavior
  • Spend no more than 10% of your time on tweaking protocol – the greatest returns flow from consistent core behaviors

What are the behaviors required for a life with meaning?

Health, kindness, shared experience, close to nature.

The Second Stage of Aging

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Barbie Movie NightMy post on The Middle-Aged Athlete was inspired by James Hillman’s book on The Force of Character – author discussing his book below.

The book has nuggets throughout that offer a insight into the experience of “getting old.” The central premise is aging will make us more of what we are. “What we are” being Hillman’s definition of character.

So I asked myself, “What are my central traits?” and, more usefully, “What traits work against the life I’d like to live?”

If you’re like me then, at least initially, you’ll come up with a shopping list of admirable traits – things you like about yourself. So far, I haven’t had the courage to verify this list with my wife!

More useful is to reflect on the traits that might lead one’s self into trouble. Quickly, I came up with two…

  • A preference for isolation
  • A tendency for internal over-reaction

Combine those two, magnify them, accept them for another 20, 30 or 40 years and you’ve got one heck of a cranky Old G.

I suffer disproportionately from my negative traits – particularly the internal reactions, hidden from most people. Fortunately, there’s a well-known fix for training one’s mind.

To the traits above, my wife advised that I “should watch my tendency to let myself go.” So true, my love, so true.

As things inevitably unwind, our personal truth comes to the foreground.

Retiring To Paradise

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ParadiseA friend sent me an article about “stress-free living on a tropical island paradise.” The article was a teaser for a subscription-based newsletter about retiring well, on modest means.

The article got me thinking…

  • Why do I find foreign utopias so appealing?
  • What are the components of living well, particularly as I age?
  • What limits my ability to shift towards rewarding, part-time work as soon as possible?

The first thing that I remind myself is satisfaction is never achieved “out-there” in the future. My job is to make a note about the structure of my satisfying days, right here, right now.

Noticing the satisfying parts of my current life lets me define paradise on my own terms.

I guarantee that you’ll find your truth is far different than the marketing brochure!

In my own case, I don’t like to tan, I like to ride my bike uphill and I sleep best in a cold, dry room. Worth reminding myself of these points!

The allure of the tropical paradise…

  • Simplicity
  • Stress-free
  • Natural beauty

What price will I pay for my ticket to paradise? I’ve found two habits that move me away from my definition of paradise – their antidote…

Radical simplification of my life and possessions – all the crap I have in my life provides an endless stream of admin, depreciation and cost of ownership.

Aside from a Sienna Van and high-quality bicycles, none of it is useful. I’ve been chipping away for years. I get a lot of resistance from my family, and I respect their views.

Beach cruiser, surf board, and board shorts…

…I get the allure – yet know that it is simplification, not the tropics, that appeals to me.

Constantly reduce my personal needs – if you are in a high-paying field then you’ll be tempted to delay freeing yourself from full-time work until you “have enough” (to live at a standard that fits your perceived station in society).

My heroes don’t have a lot of possessions but are rich with satisfaction. Choose wisely.

If you’re delaying following your heart so that you can maintain a high spending rate then be sure spending fits your definition of paradise.

Many of the wealthy don’t enjoy spending. It’s how they became wealthy.

If the points above aren’t clear then invert and be honest with yourself.

  • Having so much stuff that I need a team of people to manage my gear, or spend a significant percentage of my life on admin…
  • Constantly increasing my personal needs via the hedonistic treadmill…

This combination, anywhere on the socio-economic scale, is a recipe for misery.

Finally, humans are similar in how we define natural beauty… high view, overlooking park land, ideally with some water.

Think about the most valuable real estate in your local market. It’s likely to have those characteristics.

Most of us will never afford that real estate, which is just another asset to take care of, anyway.

A better solution is to live beside a mountain park and get to a high view as often as possible.

What’s your definition of paradise?

bear

When 99 is more than 100

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As a young man, I spent my 20s focused on taking myself to the limit. In my 30s, I discovered triathlon and shifted my life towards a devotion to personal excellence. In both periods, I was unable to understand why anyone would bother “being average” at anything.

Whether your focus is academics, finance, wealth or sport — if you spend your time in a group that consists of the top 1% then you’ll be at risk for certain errors.

The first error is a skewed definition of “average.”

Athletics is a great field to see this in action as we’re much less likely offend anyone by telling the truth! Here’s a quote from a former coach…

He’s constantly disappointed in himself because he thinks that he should be able to roll out of bed and drop an 8:35 Ironman.

In other words, our friend has a baseline that requires him to outperform 99.99999715% of the planet.

That’s an extreme case but, if you listen to the dialogue surrounding your favorite sports team then, you can see this pattern repeating itself throughout our elite classes.

As an amateur triathlete, I could beat 98.5% of the field at any Ironman race in the world, yet my performance wouldn’t even register for the top 1% of performers, who benchmark themselves on their peers.

My point, isn’t to correct the attitudes of the elites – an extreme way of thinking is useful to drive extreme action.

My point, is to encourage you to stop and ask, “Is It True?”

When your peers lack diversity, your views are at risk from becoming detached from reality. You will see it most easily in your definition of average and decent.

  • What’s a decent athlete?
  • What’s a wealthy family?
  • What’s a successful child?

Outliers living in the 1% are unable to see the extreme nature of their lives and that can lead to ruin.

It’s not just about aging athletes ruining their joints.

I had a very close friend that ended up financially ruined because he was unable to be satisfied with being more wealthy than 98% of his peers.

Others ruin relationships with children, who are unable to measure up to an unreasonable standard.

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Another risk – the best are lazy.

Lazy?

  • …but I train 25 hours a week
  • …but I work 65 hours a week
  • …but I read 100 books a year
  • …but I add more value than anyone at this firm

My capacity for extreme workload requires me to drop everything in my life.

In fact, dropping everything is a “secret” of success.

However, it makes me very lazy outside my domain.

As the youngest partner in my private equity firm, I had staff to shop, to sort my CDs, to open my mail, to cook my meals, to take out my trash… the list went on and on. My approach was to throw other people’s time at any issue that prevented me from spending time on my goals.

Ultimately, behaving like a plutocrat wasn’t the main drawback.

By not placing “love” as a primary goal, I created a pattern of behavior that would have driven every relationship from my life.

It wasn’t until 15 years after my divorce that my family received the dividend of a man becoming a little less successful and far less lazy.

Renewing My Vows

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ax_leavesHopefully, I’ll be around so my actions teach my children this post before their first kiss.

If not, then I leave it to point them in the right direction. Read it to them annually, at graduations and at their weddings.

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Have you ever heard couples discussing their wedding vows? Perhaps wondering if they should include “honor and obey” in the words they exchange? That seems silly to me because it overlooks the essential components of EVERY long-term relationship.

What follows is how I try to live my marriage, and through my marriage interact with everybody. It wasn’t always this way – as a young man, my greatest weakness was a lack of compassion and an inability to see the second order consequences of my habit of hurting other people.

What are the most important ways that we honor each other?

First, and most importantly, is a commitment not to hurt other people.

Relationships fail when we get caught in a cycle of keeping score, tit-for-tat and not breaking the chain.

We don’t even need to be in the same room with each other to perpetuate this cycle. When I hear about marriages through third parties, I can feel the pain that the couple is creating for each other.

So I offer: I’ll do my best not to hurt you and ask that you forgive me for the many times that I’ll fall short.

Small children understand forgiveness instinctively. Each morning, I get a fresh start and, hopefully, I see each morning as a chance to get a little better than yesterday.

Now, my children will be like me in many ways. This means that they will arrive at adulthood with habits that will torpedo their relationships if not addressed. The most toxic of these habits is enjoying subtle retribution and justified anger.

So I offer: When I feel pain, I know it will be because I you have touched one of my many limitations. I vow to turn that knowledge inwards and try to make incremental progress.

I’ve been married for close to a decade. By chipping away a little bit each day, I make progress and, together, we strengthen our marriage.

It is my improvement, not my position, that makes me fit for leadership, and shows that I’m worthy of being honored.

Being honored for experience is great but being forgiven is much more valuable than being honored.

In a successful relationship, my errors are forgiven, rather than acting as triggers on top of 5, 10 or 15 years of repressed, mutually reinforced pain.

My dearest, I promise that I can handle the truth.

In life, we are tempted to protect others from the truth. This is a mistake and you will find that your strongest relationships are built on being open. In sharing our individual truths, we can work towards understanding what rings true as a couple.

The wisdom of these lessons becomes clear when you invert them.

Relationship failure is characterized by retribution, blame outside of myself and suppression of truth.

I failed many times before I learned a better way.

In order to shape my reality, I started by accepting it.

Chose wisely.